Choose a Reputable Dating Site
This is the most important step and you need to pick a good dating site to get going. Unfortunately not all internet dating sites do the right thing, and if you do choose the wrong one you're likely to waste both your time and money. You could also walk away from online dating thinking every site is a con. This simply is not true and there a several reputable sites out there.
Browse each online dating site very carefully. Read the members comments and look in any “feedback” areas and read the “Terms and Conditions”. Be suspicious of any sites who state that some profiles may be for marketing purposes only.
Once you have decided on a site, sign up as a trial member. Browse the member profiles on the site and read each profile. Look at what they are looking for in their dating partner and see if you are compatible. Some online dating sites will allow you to browse profiles without registering first. You can use this opportunity to browse the dating profiles and assess whether that online dating site is your kind of place to hang around.
Remember that if it sounds to good to be true it probably isn’t. Some sites try to trick people into paying for full memberships by sending messages from their “Marketing Profiles” to new members. Once the member has joined up the marketing profile disappears. If you get an unsolicited message from a super model who claims to live next door, you may be very lucky. You may also be being conned.
Not all Dating Sites are the equal. Some are fancy. Some are quality. Some are cheap. Some are free. Some are completely deceptive and make you think they much larger than they really are. Think before you pay for anything and check out the options before you commit.
Tips for selecting a good dating site:
Don't be fooled by sites
that say "Member Listings"
If you see the term "Member Listings" on a dating site with a
large number in front of it, beware! It does not necessarily mean
they have that many members.
If a site displays "1,042,252 Member Listings" they
probably don't actually have that many physical members. They could have 1
member that has a million listings. "Member Listings" can be things like
photos, interests, messages, notices, etc. You will obviously do
poorly on these sites. Some sites operators do this to make themselves
seem larger than they really are, Don't be conned into signing
Do look for sites that say "Members"
Look for sites that say "Members" not "Member Listings" this is the
number of actual people who have registered on that dating site. Not the
number people multiplied by their interests, photos, messages, etc.
Don't get conned by "Online Now"
"Online Now" is generally displayed on the top right hand corner of
most dating sites. One would think that "Online Now" represents the
number of actual people you can meet right now. This is correct
on most of the reputable dating sites but unfortunately not all sites play fair and they
will do anything to con you into signing up.
We found one site in particular that regularly displays
"7,000 to 10,000 Online Now" in Australia most of the time. This includes
2am on a Wednesday morning. This which seem pretty unlikely
considering most have to work in the morning.
Often if you click on their "Online Now" link, they do not show you a
breakdown of their "Online Now" figures and how they are made up. Rather a
registration page which requires you to join before receiving any
explanation at all. Don't go any further!
Often their explanation for calculating the number of people "Online Now"
includes a rather large of people who are not visible, not logged and
cannot be contacted. "Online Now" in the context of dating site should
mean people you can meet right now.
We can only guess they do this to give the impression there is a lot more
activity on the site than there really is, This is another way they try to con you into
getting you to sign up.
Do think about the Maths
Larger web sites in Australia have around "4,000
larger and well established sites in Australia have up to 4,000 members
online during their peak times This is between 8 and 11pm each night. To put the false and misleading "7,000 to 10,000 Online Now" figure
into some sort perspective. The largest dating web site
in world, (Source: Guinness Book of Records) has approximately
"15,000-20,000 Online Now" at given time. Given that Australia is about 2% of the
worlds entire internet traffic, the maths just don't add up.
Don't get conned by False Messages
Beware of messages from beautiful Women, Couples and Men!
If you submit your profile to a dating site and all of a sudden you
start receiving messages from people that seem too good to be true, beware! Be especially cautious if you have not paid for a
subscription to that dating site.
unsavoury dating site operators may create fake profiles of women, couples
and men on their own web sites. These fake profiles then send messages,
kisses or winks to your profile. Here's the catch, for you to send a
reply message you have to pay for a subscription.
Once you have paid for your subscription and try to contact these people
you will never hear from them again.
The Dating Guide has conducted some testing on this matter.
We tested most of the dating sites in Australia is by submitting several
male profiles to the same site. The profiles we created for each site
where extremely diverse, some of them were filled out meticulously while
others had silly things in them like; "I have 2 heads and 6 arms and a ear
on my forehead".
We then waited to see if we received any messages...
On some of the sites we tested all of the profiles including the silly
ones received exactly the same message from exactly the same women
stating; "she would like to hookup sometime". The woman's profile was
unbelievable, she was perfect in every respect including pictures of
herself in lingerie. When we had paid for a subscription she disappeared and did not return any of our messages again.
On a positive note there are all sorts of people on the more
reputable sites including some very attractive, women, men &
couples. Its more than likely however that you will have contact those people
yourself. It's unlikely they will just contact you out the blue! Getting
results on dating sites is like anything else in life, you have to
work at it and put some time and effort in to get results.
Do look at Reputation, Reputation, Reputation!
It's not all bad news. The larger and more well established dating sites
definitely do the right thing and there are many many testimonials and
success stories available on the internet and from the sites themselves.
Australians are early adopters of technology and have 2 well established
dating sites in RSVP and Adult Match Maker. Both of these have been running
for over 5 years. Both of these also have a reputation for providing good results and
easily boast the largest member bases in Australia.
Below are sites the Dating Guide recommend. Use other sites at your own
What You Want
Decide what kind of dating or relationship you want to have. Specify
clearly in your profile exactly what your looking for.
Is it marriage, a long-term relationship, short-term casual dating, or even
intimate encounters for very short-times.
This helps you identify what you are looking for and lets other people know what you are looking for as well.
Your Amazing Profile
The profile needs to be informative and appealing, yet stand out from the
crowd in some way. In fact, it should reflect the true you as much as possible.
Now, there are some do's and don'ts where online dating profiles are concerned,
so let's look at those more closely.
Pictures - It's critical to put up at least
one picture of yourself in an online dating profile. With a picture in place -
even a bad picture - you're profile will get viewed ten times more than a profile without one.
Your first name - Using an online "handle" or
nickname is ok, but you should reveal your first name in your profile. This
makes you appear much more honest and open. Without a name, people may be
inclined to believe you're an imposter, or that you're trying to hide
Just your first name - Do not reveal your
full name in an online dating profile. You never know who might come across
it, and what kind of person they might be. So always use caution with how much
personal information you reveal online.
Write a bit about yourself - Don't write
your life's story. This part can be as long or as short as you'd like, but
it's best to summarize in just a paragraph or two. Stay upbeat here, don't
complain about failed relationships and a cheating ex.
Again, don't reveal anything overly personal when putting information about
yourself in your online dating profile. It's fine to explain what profession
you're in for instance, but don't specify exactly where you work or who you
work for. Likewise there's no problem stating the area you live in, but don't
include your home address and phone number.
What are you looking for? - This part is for
you to explain why you're creating this online dating profile to begin with.
Do you want friends? Frequent dates? A romantic relationship? A life partner?
Summarize those desires here, without going into intimate details. You want to
make sure you've left things to talk about with men or women when they contact
What are your likes and dislikes? - Now this
part can be used to explain things you like or don't like in a mate or friend,
or it can be used for general likes and dislikes in life. Don't make a long
list of every single thing you can think of here, just put the top 5 or 10 as
a starting place.
Remember: Your online dating profile is designed to
generate interest from the type of men or women you're looking for. Keep it
upbeat and positive. When done well, an online dating profile can generate lots of interested
prospects, while leaving you plenty left to talk about and learn about each
the Dating Site Features
Depending on whether each dating site charges per month or whether they are
free, the features they offer as part of their program will also differ.
Most dating sites will allow you to post your profile for free. When you browse
their existing profiles and you find a person you might like to contact, most
sites will not let you contact them unless you pay.
Contacting the interested person maybe either via a “wink” or an “Instant
Messenger” or internal email via the site. Each of these features will be
useful in their own right.
A quick and easy method to show your interest to the person you are interested
is to send a “wink”‘. This way you don’t have to come up with your own ‘chat up
line’ or other creative ways of getting their attention. The dating site will
have predefined ‘winks’ setup so you just select one wink you like and then
‘voila!” your desired person will have got your ‘wink’. If they are interested they can "wink" or message you back.
Sometimes it is better to Instant Message a person. If you find that
person rarely comes “online” you can watch for them and just say "Hi" .
An internal email message to the interested party is best. You can describe yourself
better and plant a better ‘first impression’. “Instant
Messages”invitations may be rejected as they don’t know much about
If the online dating site you signed up has chat rooms,
you can say "Hi" in the chat room and then take the conversation to a private
‘whisper’ mode for more privacy to converse.
Your Time To Get To Know
Some people who start on dating online rush into relationships that they later
regret. It is critical that you get to know the other person very well before
arranging a face to face meeting..
There are several reasons for this. Firstly, your only interaction with this
person has been electronically.. Sometimes you may have taken the conversation to a phone
conversation by exchanging numbers or calling that person. On these mediums the
other person can easily create quite a ‘make believe’ scenario and in the ‘heat of the
moment’ you might be blind to the reality's.
It is very important to get to know them from all angles before committing to
meet them in person. One of the best ways is to ask questions. Especially open
ended questions. Whatever you do, do not assume anything about the other person.
This is not fair on either of you. Either because you are not telling yourself the truth, and not fair on the
other person as you may be misjudging them.
When you are ready to meet, choose a place to meet which you feel comfortable
with. Be yourself, and enjoy the dating process. Best of all, have fun getting
to know the other person. If it is not fun then it is not worth your time.